Things don't always go according to our plans..
... They go according to God's plans ... I don't mean to say that we should sit around waiting for things to just happen ... I mean that we may plan something, work and strive for it, then end up doing something else because that was God's will....
I feel that about my life... never planned to teach English... all I wanted was to be an Engineer which el7amdulilah I am (and I worked pretty hard for it)... started teaching English by complete chance ... unplanned... found I enjoyed it so I decided to work as a teacher in a centre part time alongside my engineering job.... was quite exhausting but I wasn't willing to give up either of them ...
I was born and raised outside Egypt and I worked outside Egypt as well (whole family .. but my brothers had to come back for the "army" ... that's another story) ... as I started growing up I'd have relatives bugging me to come back to Egypt to settle....actually they meant "to get married" .. and they'd go on and on about there not being many Egyptians in the country I was living in and stuff like that... and I'd always answer that when there's "naseeb" nothing will ever stop it ....and I wasn't going to give up my 2 jobs and leave my parents for a reason like that...
Anyway, I was on vacation last summer (2004)... and I met someone nice.. it was sort of arranged I know, but it went well and we "clicked".. we were both what we were both "looking for" .... I must say there were a few problems between the families concerning "logistics" but both of us "fought" to be for each other and we cleared up matters ... I stayed in Egypt for another month and a half during which we had "2erayet fat7a" and I started looking about for opportunities and jobs ... trying to see what I could do etc... he was great help with all his connections too ... as I still had obligations at both my jobs back outside Egypt I had to go back to finish projects I was working on etc... that took around 4 and a half months.. we'd chat everyday on the net (video and voice sometimes) and get to know and explore more of each other and get closer ... we planned if everything went fine to get married in August 2005 as that was the only time my Dad could be in Egypt... I came for a short time to Egypt and felt that opportunities here were good and that I'd like to start and learn more here .. which I did .... so I finally came back...
But what happened wasn't what was planned... things went wrong and we didn't get married.. we broke up instead... to this day I don't know exactly why... everything seemed just fine.. too good to be true in fact ... but then again ... God's will ....
Looking back now, I can see that maybe God was planning for me to move back to Egypt and my ex-fiance was just a "sabbab" .. but not the "main issue"... I still don't have a "permanent job" here in Egypt .. but I'm looking and doing my best...learning new things and getting to know new people....el7amdulilah :-)
"Allahomma enni 2as2aloka kol alkhayr, ma 3alimt minhu wa ma lam a3lam, wa a3othu beka min kol alsharr, ma 3alimt minhu wa ma lam a3lam" .....
posted by Me @ 6:10 PM
13 Comments:
dear me, and indeed you are so dear. you have no idea how much you remind me of my little sis. wish you two can meet. it is as if i am reading her writing. you think in a positive way, and you have faith in God whatever happens, and that is a great thing and i wish it never leaves you ISA.
as you said, everything happens be tadabeer Allah, and as long as you are motawakkila 3ala Allah, i know God will not let you down ISA.
i hope you are not upset by your ex-fiance issue anymore. and wish you all the luck in here in egypt
Dear Me,
Well, i tend to agree with Doshar alot, because i guess we have things in common which is a pleasure.
I am also so glad your hanging in there. Rabena yethabet Imanek and yezeedo and all of us with u inshaÁllah.
Don't worry naseebek will come at the right moment. Sub7an Allah, when i read your sentence saying that to this day you don't know what happend.. Well my dear, it reminded me of a very similar situation or actually to many where you just do not understand the why bit. The difference is, i still hadn't had so much gotten into religion as i am now, but even though, God helped me through it and made me understand the whys later. You on the other hand have this faith thing going well (Ya rab yezeedek and all moslems).
It is qadar, and where qadar is concerned: AL HAMD LILLAHI 3ALA AL QADARI KHAYRIHI WA SHARIHI..
Many times bad things happen, or so we see it that way, but if we are smart enough, and trust in God's mercy and kindness for us, we will learn that there is always something good out if what seemed bad at a certain period of time.
I would gladly be honored to be a friend of yours here in Egypt. Please feel free to e-mail me, if you would like to be friends not just on the blog circle, but in person too.
My e-amil address is: dahlia_sami@hotmail.com
:-D
By the way, inserting the duaa was a beautiful ending for your post. and Jazaki Allaho khayran for it, merely reading it will give us all thawab inshaÁllah.
Doshar,
Thank u so much :-).. I'm flattered .. nice to know that I remind u of ur sis and I'd be glad to meet her .. is she a blogger too?
El7amdulilah Rabena pulled me through my "me7na" (if we may call it that) and helped me think positively about it (it was of course pretty hard at the beginning)...pray for me to be able to continue that way isA..
Begad, I'm truly happy that there are people out there like you and Dallula :-)
Dallula,
I don't know what to say, I feel I've known both you and Doshar for quite a while (I used to silently read both of your posts for quite sometime before I decided to write as well)...
and thanks for your support...I agree 100% with you about "Many times bad things happen, or so we see it that way, but if we are smart enough, and trust in God's mercy and kindness for us, we will learn that there is always something good out if what seemed bad at a certain period of time."... it is so true and I've seen it happen a lot .. but the problem is I don't always see it at the very beginning...
pray for me too ya gamila :-)
Oh and about the duaa.. I simply love it and I'm always saying it..so I felt like writing it (as at the end of my post I actually said it) ..Eyana wa eyake inshAllah :-)
meme, hey my sister is actually a blogger too! her name is roora. i think that you read her blog. she is the one who told me about you. she said "this girl reminds me of myself so much!" her url is www.yoshar.blogspot.com.
i have added you to my blogs i read list on my blog btw.
Waow..small world..I get to know 2 sisters on the net! Really nice knowing you :-)
hi me :)
i am happy too yo know you , i am very happy by what you wrote , i hope if i can have same self settlement like you said , i do say that and i belive it tab3an, but i wish to be having more peace in my heart. i also got engaged and i broke up from a year and things were moving smooth as you said and turned all at a sudden .
i wish if i can say like yuou , i know it was for the best i am sure elhamdAllah.
but i cant stop thinking and the devil comes to me sometimes and tell me what if ? but no things turned out all at a sudden after several estekharat.
i didnt belive that i would pass by this experince , but maybe i got stronger and i would be more appreciative for things i didnt give value before that much
Roora,
I never expected to go through something like that as well...and at the beginning I was quite shaken...it took quite some time for me to settle myself down but I was determined to do it...there are times of course when I may weaken a little bit...but el7amdulilah I wake up again...it's only been 5 months since we broke up, but a lot has changed el7amdulilah...and as you said I've become stronger and I've begun to view some things differently el7amdulilah..
Rabena ye3mel elli feih elkheir inshAllah :-)
we ye3mely ana kaman ya me ISA :)
Me , when I read your post before and doshar and dallula's comments , It didn't really reach me ,
but today I did, maybe because I was little bit thinking again and my memory is refreshed back for some reasons , so your words and the comments made it up for me some how
I hope that we would be better than we say and people think , I mean i always say so and so and I say exactly to the others what doshar and dalia said , but the truth is that when it comes to reality and to me , I don't always stick to what i say although I know it by hard
, not because i rechanged my thoughts , but because i need to be having more faith and self settlement , wish of I can have it always ISA , ed3eeely
Roora,
It is sometimes hard to apply what we say... even when we are totally convinced...I think it's natural that we go through a phase of instability as long as eventually we reach the state of stability...
At the beginning, I used to "tell myself off" a lot.. by saying "how come 2 months have passed and you're still thinking of it?!?!" and things of the sort...then I realised I wasn't going to get anywhere this way... so I cooled off a bit and stopped "pushing myself"... let it come slowly, gradually and surely ... I think that's working el7amdulilah... I admit that there are moments of weakness but God helps me through them el7amdulilah...and there are so many things I got out of that experience.. and so many people I met in the flow of things after it ..etc
Glad my post reached you ya gamila...hope I can be of help any time :-)
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