Now I understand....

All throughout my life, we'd spend most of our vacation in Alexandria... then go back to school/university/work ... i.e our lives... every year I'd enjoy my vacation to the full... but by the end of it I'd feel I miss my friends/school/work .. i.e my life...I'd be a little tearful saying goodbye to my grandmas, and the rest of my relatives .. but really looking forward to going back ... I always felt a little guilty cause I felt that they missed me more than I missed them.. that they wanted us to stay more than we wanted to stay .... I realised that "the ones leaving" don't feel as much as "the ones staying" watching the others leave... I realised that when I was of the "ones leaving" ..... and now that I'm of "the ones staying" I feel it even more....... Now I understand......

My aunt left yesterday... me and my mum went to stay over with my maternal grandma to keep her company and be next to her after my aunt's family leaves ... it was heartbreaking seeing my grandma cry after she left... seeing the pain on her face... and hearing her sob....and her saying how she's going to miss them.... how the kids would've grown by the time she sees them again isA next year... I watched my little cousins ... and remembered how it was with me and my brothers... they were too " a little tearful" but I guess quite enthusiastic about going back to their lives in a way ...... now, being on the other side I can imagine how things must've looked when we used to leave...

My brother's "S" little family (wife "M" and little, adorable, amazing baby girl "N") should be leaving with him next month isA...S has been away for a few months for work on a project that was supposed to take a lot less than what it ended up taking ... M was pregnant so she stayed back here and he'd come for short, sporadic visits... then little baby N came into the world last July..... and the project that S is on may take another year !!!! So of course S and M decided that it was time that they all got together..... M is looking forward to being with her husband ... trying to get things done as soon as possible.... little N doesn't understand much yet as she's only 40 days old ..... but her aunt "Me" is dreading the day they leave.... I've become good friends with M and crazily attached to baby N !!! I will miss her enormously and I can't imagine not seeing her grow..... Now I think I understand how my aunts loved me and why they'd hug me that way when I was leaving....

My parents are leaving soon as well ... now I guess that's going to be the hardest part... but I'll probably be going to visit them and pack the rest of my stuff very soon isA so that makes me feel sort of better in a way ... el7amdulilah ...