Living Life

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Ready?

Just not me .... or not me "yet" ... what do we think of when we fall in love and can't wait to get married? Of all the stuff we see in movies? Or of the bliss of being with the man of our dreams? We don't really think of the future .. do we? Restrict ourselves to the very, very near future... short term plans I'd call them... is that enough to be able to start a new "balanced" life? Do we know "why" we're getting married? Or what we want to do with our "new" life?

Was at a family gathering full of kids and noise, babbling and laughter... enjoyed it ... but kept getting weird feelings ... something like I kept getting detached and looking at things from another angle... watching my bro's wife with my adorable niece... and how all her attention is directed towards the needs of her baby girl ... everything she does or thinks of is controlled by this tiny amazing being.... she's happy doing that ... but exhausted and sometimes depressed.... not depressed in the sense of actually "depressed" ... but more of like thinking " Where is my me time?" ... does she even have time to think of that? I don't know...

My cousin was there too .... married with 2 kids... 12 and 8 years old ... hubby works at sea... she works and has all the kids' responsibilities, work, house etc... worn out at only 37 !

I don't know how I'd manage... I want to have time to do things... I do rush around ... but I still have time to sit and listen to my favourite doaa at night and sometimes cry from it's beauty as I "sing" along with the Sheikh.... I have time to wake up early and after praying fagr put Mishary Rashed on and let his enchanting voice fill my room.... I have time to think...to contemplate sometimes... time to read... time to work ... and time to pamper myself...

Maybe living alone and only with little bro before that has got me used to doing things that I may have not been able to do if I'd still been living in a "family" house....maybe I've grown to be too accustomed to completely managing my own time and life with hardly any interferences.... I come home when I finsh work ... whenever I want to .... I go out to run errands/ meet friends/ go to the mosque/ NGO ... all when "I" decide to go ... when I want to sleep ... I crawl into bed.... to wake up early next morning to finish designing something before running to the Centre...

Oh I don't know...I sometimes feel I may not be ready for the responsibilities of being married....

8 Comments:

At 5/07/2006 09:35:00 AM, Blogger a h m a d said...

What you are posing is a very tough question! I am avoiding bringing this up on my blog because I have not thought it all over yet. Marriage includes responsibilities, and as you said, many do not foresee the burden of these responsibilities and rush to get married.

For me, I also see the burden of financially supporting the house which is getting more difficult due to the many prerequisites of the expensive living. But on the other hand, if we try to anticipate everything, we might get intimidated and we will put off the whole idea.

 
At 5/07/2006 09:44:00 AM, Blogger Rain said...

Dear Me,
I may not be ready for the responsibilities of being married
You'll be ready when you're carrying the responsibility :) , i believe we somehow find our way when we really think there's no way out.

 
At 5/07/2006 12:09:00 PM, Blogger Nesrina said...

Ya Me, Don't look at it this way. When God isA grant u a good husband that you love, u will be willing to give up what u used to do for him. and the responsibility that u fear will be out of love not an obligation. that's somehow what we have been created to do. some say that Eve was created from Adam's rib, the rib that protect the heart. it's where we belong ... it's beautiful don't u agree ?

 
At 5/07/2006 02:15:00 PM, Blogger roora said...

you know ya ME i always think like that from a year masalan.

when i see myself in compare to others who are married and I think so now I am free to do that and go to track at any time and enjoy my time elhamdAllah, but again at sometimes where i feel by this emotional emptiness and i feel depressed shewya and that I am still needy for certain emotional fullfillment.

For ex I have time to go to work, travel, walk in track , socialize, , go to religon lessons...do the things that I love.

But anyways I still hope to get married to a person whom I love and he is a good one and at the same time honestly I am not willing to give up my whole life.

wana compromise. I dont agree about giving up any activity in life.

 
At 5/07/2006 02:16:00 PM, Blogger roora said...

sorry correction , giving up all other activities in life, but ofcourse some will be reduced.

 
At 5/07/2006 06:48:00 PM, Blogger doshar said...

me.. i second nesrina, roora and rain. it all works out in the end. the important thing is finding the right frame for this life.

if you marry the right guy... it will be a good trade... your life style now with thwat with him... if not... you will fell robbed of your life.


a lot of my friends echo your thoughts.. esp. when they have little ones... but i think that you can still... actually you should still make "me" time for yourself. i have friends with little ones who still get to do the things they like. just as long as they are not extreme. and we do not have to obsess about what our little ones need and totally forget oureslves either. le ahlak 3aleik 7ak we le badanak 3aleik 7ak.


anyway... this is a long topic.... i think it would be easier to talk about it on the phone... so give me a call!

 
At 5/07/2006 09:02:00 PM, Blogger new kid in the block said...

I agree with all the girls but the important thing is not to get married just for sake of being married or avoiding being alone as if you arent with a man that you love and who loves you back than you are not missing anything on the other hand you will giving all you rights away for nothing at all unless your aim of marriage is only to get childern :))))

 
At 5/11/2006 06:45:00 PM, Blogger Me said...

Dear friends,
Thanks for your input... will get round to answering your comments once I can concentrate...

 

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