You know you're a mama/mummy/mommy when...

...you rush out the door quickly.. forgetting to put concealer under those puffy eyes... you end up applying it in the car... using baby's mirror on his favourite rattle :-D

...while flipping through the channels you come across a cartoon baby jumping out of his crib ... and you gasp... Never mind that said baby is actually talking like a grown-up to a dog.. and that the dog speaks perfect English too! All you see is the baby jumped out of his crib...and you gasp :-O

...you examine and stare at your baby's poop like your life depended on it... and you even have names for the different kinds of poop!

...you walk out the elegant restaurants door... after your anniversary dinner... black coat... matching hat and gloves...one hand in hubby's hand.. the other holding baby's favourite bright, yellow, squeaky duck! And you're not the least bit embarrassed...

...you walk in downtown's streets making faces and silly noises at your chuckling, squealing baby while passerbys stare.. and again... you're not the least bit embarrassed...

...after a long, tiring and rough day...just when you think you can't take it any more... you take one look at your peaceful, sleeping baby.. and know... that you can...

Frustrated

No.. I don't care what the grooms mother is wearing... or if the bride looks older than her age.... or if it would have been better to play that song while cutting the cake...
No... I don't want to listen to comments about people I don't know... and I don't want to have a closer look at her henna... and I don't care if the groom looks embarrassed...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Why are the men downstairs talking about the Western and Eastern civilizations... and the importance of asking God for forgiveness while the women here are watching a tape of I don't know who's engagement party...

Why can't I just sit with the men?!?!

Still my best friend

It's amazing how distances don't make a difference to our friendship... we may not call or write for days or weeks... and we may write up to 10 short emails in one day! We may pour our hearts out and have long, serious conversations... or laugh our heads off with complete, utter nonsense...

In all... it's good to know .. that you're still my best friend ...little bro

Back... or not?

I don't know if I'm going to be back here or not... I have abandoned this space for ages... it's like I moved out or something... though I haven't started another blog or anything... I don't know why I stopped writing... wait ... maybe I do... I didn't feel I had anything to add... I didn't feel I wanted to speak... it was all inside my head... till I could take it no more... and maybe that's why I'm writing again... I have been going through major changes in my life... and quite a lot of emotional issues... I think I may have even had some kind of depression ! I changed... a little... but I am trying to come back and be better... and insha Allah with His help I will... I am still "Me" deep down... though sometimes I feel as though

I am a candle, but I am out...
I am still there... but I have no light

BismIllah....

With no distractions...
No TV...
No internet...
No phone...
And hubby fast asleep...
In yesterday's blackout...
I sat with my Quran and my scented candle...
Bliss...

Blessed

I go from page to page... link follows link... I read... I click... I read... then I realise how blessed I am...
to have a laptop...
to have internet connection...
to be able to read...
then I turn my head to look out of the window...
and I see... blue sky... white clouds... green trees...
and I realise how blessed I am....
just to be able to see....

الحمد لله حمدا كثيرا طيبا مباركا فيه غير مكفي و لا مودع و لا مستغنى عنه ربنا

Allah be praised with an abundant beautiful blessed praise, a never-ending praise, a praise which we will never bid farewell to and an indispensable praise, He is our Lord.

What I've been up to...

... and moving...

PS. You were right Safiya!