Living Life

Friday, October 07, 2005


Watched a programme today where the guy was talking about forgiveness... especially in Ramadan... he said when one forgives (ya3foo) people who've wronged him it's one of the noblest virtues and a very high level of "humanity"... Allah is of course "Akram" .. more forgiving, generous, kinder He forgives the person who forgives his fellow brothers...

I'm not the type of person who doesn't forgive easily ... I do forgive...and I usually forget... things fade back in my memory and my heart clears... but sometimes I just can't.. things do start to fade.. but I do know deep inside that it's not over yet.. that whenever I think of the matter or the person ...I know I haven't forgiven and that as we say in Egypt "albi lessa shayel" ... this is the case with him and his mother ... Dalulla was telling me the other day that I should try and forgive him and I said I still can't now ... I'm going to try hard this Ramadan... want to resolve this thing once and for all...if Allah with all His Splendour and Might forgives His creations for the millions of times they've wronged him...then the humble me should forgive somebody who once hurt me...

"Allahoma eghfer lee thanbi, wa ath-heb ghaitha qalbi, wa ajerni min alshaitan"


At 10/07/2005 10:09:00 PM, Blogger Charismatic Soul said...

you're lucky, me, that you can forgive AND forget.
i can forgive a few things, but can NEVER forget.

but you would be able to forgive that guy, you have such a forgiving nature.

god bless you dear, you deserve all the best.

At 10/07/2005 10:09:00 PM, Blogger Charismatic Soul said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10/08/2005 02:15:00 AM, Blogger Dalulla said...

Ya me,
rabena yekremek ya 7abebty..forgetting is not the issue if you know what i mean.. In all cases, we cannot always forget..but i personally think that those who still remember yet are able to forgive are Strong. Remembering does not necessarily mean you hold a grudge.. It means (at least i think so) that even though we remember the wrong doings we are still blessed with the capability to cope and forgive.

El mohem ennek you are trying and i am sure that it will be counted for you Where Allah is concerned. Rabena ghafour and yes we should always try to forgive one another. Rabena ye33nek we ye3een all of us.

At 10/08/2005 04:39:00 PM, Blogger tota said...

nasa Adam .. fa nasa kawmo Adam ,,, it's when he ate from that tree.
it's Allah bless that he made us able to forget ,,, situations fade .. and so the feelings fade ... and life will go on, so don’t let it leaves u behind it, standing at that same point :)
it's not about forgetting or forgiving, it's about u want to take that decision to fold that page or not?
even if u still didnt forgive him!

At 10/08/2005 10:26:00 PM, Blogger Wonderer said...

dear me,

I'd like to say nice words, like those of Dalulla's and tota but the problem is that I am like you. I can pretend to forget but eli fi el alb fi el alb. However, this is aplicable only when someone really hurts me.

al qazimeen al .3ayz wa al 3afeen 3an el nas.

At 10/09/2005 01:31:00 AM, Blogger roora said...

Me, i know whatyou say by hard, sometimes i say bu my tongue..i forgive and that when i am strong enough , and suddenly a situaton comes up and i find that i didn't fully forgive.

Me, dont be hard on your self i believe that you would of forgive any body if he/she came to you and asked you to forgive them in a direct or an indirect way...that is how it should be , when some body makes a mistake or wronged with some body , the other body deserves an apology and something to be made up for him /her.

I know how you feel , believe me , you just need something to be made up for you...and maybe when you are strong enough, you will feel that the whole issue doesn''t count or mean anything , that there are no scars anymore in your heart , that you would find so easily to forgive enshaaAllah. because they will be a hasy picture that you can't fully recall ISA.

REMEMBER us in your prayers in Libya my dear

At 10/09/2005 02:17:00 AM, Blogger doshar said...

ah ya me, your words are so familiar. i have been in this cycle for 2 years now. for a while there it almost drove me crazy.

i was very hurt once, then the ramdan after, after reading all this about forgivness, i thought i should really try. there was this once in my car, i was listening to the 3afw tape by amr khaled, and i resolved to forgive this person. when i go home. then all the way up the stairs, i kept on crying so hard. because i couldn't. i just couldn't. till this day, i can not. i forget it sometimes like you, but when i think about it, i do not forgive him . ghasb 3anny. and i am mor epissed off at him that he has taken from me this too. a clean heart, with no grudges. he took away that by hurting me too mcuh and never asking for my forgivness or even admitting to his wrong.

God forgives, but also God asks us to repent. maybe God makes us hard on someone in our hearts, because they are not sorry. who knows. Allaho A3lam.

I ask God that if one day i forgive him, it would be easy for me. but i have not thought about it or tried lately to be honest. maybe you would be luckier than me with this. indeed it would be great, because God's reward for forgiveness is really big.

and pray for me, that God grants me the peace of mind and heart, and yogbor khaterna kollena.

and who knows what tomorrow will bring, maybe one day God willing i would forgive too.

At 10/10/2005 12:45:00 AM, Blogger Me said...

Thanks everyone for your support .. means so much to me :-)

I "usually" forget AND forgive ya Chari... but this time seems it's not working too well:-/ Pray that it will & thanks for your kind words dear...

I know what you mean by "forgetting is not the issue"...that's why I said that even though now things have faded in my memory... every time I think of the matter or the person .. I feel I haven't forgiven ... with other cases it's not like that ...I feel my heart has cleared completely.. and even when I remember them or think of them ... I feel nice and're right there is a big difference between "forgetting" and "forgiving"... and that's just what I was trying to say... pray for me ya gamila..

I have turned the page...and I'm getting on with my life very well "Me" back after I seemed to have lost her for a while... but for me now... it is about forgiving... to be a better person.. to be closer to God... so that God forgives me for my sins.. that's my purpose of forgiving him... it may take a while but inshAllah I'll get there one day :-)

you know how I feel ... seems you might've been there one day... yes, this person hurt me like no-one has ever before...wiped out all the good times and all the nice things he did for me by ending it in that hurtful way... I'm not used to this type of behaviour... from anyone ... be it family.. friends.. colleagues at work .. whatever.. this "turn around, hide your face, run away" method is what hurt me ...and that's what I find myself unable to forgive...
I've learnt the verse you're referring to by heart...and I do try to go by it...want to be of that level this time too :-)

Thanks dear.. I'm trying not to be hard on myself.. as I believe that what comes slowly and gradually is what really lasts...I am el7amdulilah over the matter in all other aspects other than that "forgiveness" part... but this experience has taught me a great deal... I just pray to God that one day I will be able to forgive completely and not have a trace of bitterness in my heart...

So you've been there as well...but for me it's only been 7 months (the first couple of which I was not concerned with forgiving him at ALL to tell the truth)...what's happening with me now is almost exactly what happened with you and
"and i am mor epissed off at him that he has taken from me this too. a clean heart, with no grudges."
But in my case he never ever hurt me in the short period we were engaged... just gave me the BIG BLOW in the end :-/
I am trying to forgive.. and maybe writing this post has helped a little... will get there one day inshAllah and so will you dear...


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