Update

Haven't been able to blog lately ... extremely busy, quite stressed ... and trying to adapt ... el7amdulilah...

Quite a lot has been going on... and now I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted !!! And really looking forward to the weekend !!

I started work el7amdulilah ... work hours are from 9 to 3 ... which is really good... but when you're "teaching" for that long ... it can be pretty tiring ... and I haven't been going home at 3 because there's stuff to discuss and go through before I go home ... things to do with books... and attendance sheets... photocopies ... bla bla... inshAllah all this will be sorted out by next week ... and things will go smoothly then :-) My students are OK ... and I've sort of "connected" with them el7amdulilah... and inshAllah we'll be doing loads of work and having fun too ... Taking care of the house has been quite a challenge... cooking at night the day before... remembering to do the laundry before I go out... calling the supermarket to send stuff... and buying my own veggies on my way home... I'm managing el7amdulilah :-)
My feet are the main victims of this job though !!! The first day I wore 5cm heels... then the next day 3cm ... then "flat" ... can't do better than that :-D ... I've had to soak my feet in foot soak to relax!!!! Little bro laughed his head off the other day ... and was like "ageblek maya w mal7 ya si elsayyed ?!" ...

Ahhh ... little bro .... that's another story altogether... he's had to apply for the awful awful compulsory military service... and go for the medical check ups and all that... he might have to quit his job because of that... was hoping he'd be exempted ... but he wasn't ... on the contrary ....they told him that he'd have to serve for 3 years !!! Some people tell us maybe because he works in a University they'll bring it down to 1 year.... I do hope so .... he's been taking it quite well though... hope things shape up in a better way inshAllah .... dad called him the other day... now he was the depressed one... baba is a very sensitive person ... though he tends to hide it... but we know his voice when he's upset... has a certain tone and slight quaver that can bring me to tears... Allah yehawwen 3aleih w 3ala mama too....

I've had to take another decision amidst all this....
I met a lady at the mosque I go to ...and we got friendly and all... then she set me up with her son !!!! Yes... wanted me to marry her son !!!! so the past 2 weeks I've been getting to know him.... discovered he was a nice guy... but not "for me" ... the problem is I felt he was reeaally "into me" ... like interested and enthusiastic... while I was mostly having negative thoughts... people around me kept telling me don't cut it off now... give it more time... but I felt the more time I gave it.. the more he got interested... felt bad to go on that way... and felt bad to bluntly refuse... did a lot of praying "estekhaara" and el7amdulilah ... I feel I've done the right thing... everything is naseeb and I'm sure inshAllah he'll find the "right girl" for him one day....

Lots of other "little" things been happening... friends having problems and calling me to talk....one of our (me and little bro) best friends going back to Canada so been going out with him and his fiance....relatives getting upset that I don't ask about them as frequently as I used to...etc etc....

I am tired....

El7amdulilah for everything... gotta go prepare tomorrow's lessons.... and lunch ;-) .. then sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep .....

Excerpt

"ن.. والقلم و ما يسطرون"

يقسم الله بحرف و قلم و سطر من الكلمات

ان حرفا واحدا يمكن أن يقود الانسان الى الله

حرف واحد .. لو فكر الانسان في قدرة الله الممثلة في خلق الحروف ، و خلق الكلمات و جعلها رموزا و اشارات ، و جعلها خطوطا تحتوي داخلها على الكون الأكبر ، و تملك القدرة و هي تمشي على الأوراق أن تعبر عن ملايين الصور و الأحلام و الدهشة و الاكتشاف

لو فكر الانسان في ذلك لعرف قدرة الله و آمن

من مذكرات صائم ، أحمد بهجت

Would you take the time?

Would you take the time to sit and write a nasty comment on someone's blog?

Why would someone do that?!?! To sit and write a worthless, rude comment on a blog?!??! I mean what's the point? What would they get out of it? Self satisfaction.. like snapping at someone they're not too fond of? They don't like the blogger's attitude? Or maybe they don't really think while they're commenting? In any case ... why take the time and go through the process of typing and word verification ... for something like that?!?!?

There is a Hadith which says:

"He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet"

‏

من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليقل خيرا أو ليصمت

Last month I posted about "Commenting" and why we sometimes don't comment... and the month before that I was "Wondering" why people are so rude while discussing issues on the net... and now I'm asking ...

Why would you take the time to write a nasty comment?!?!?

Note: I was triggered to write this post after reading a couple of mean comments on a friend's blog.

Back to the mosque

Felt really nice going back to my old mosque after being away for quite a while...seeing all the familiar faces... greeting them .. wishing everyone a blessed year... the spirit was awesome...

We prayed 3esha then sat to listen to the "dars" (lecture)... felt I really missed listening to the Sheikh...what I like about listening to him on a weekly basis is that he constantly reminds us of what we should be doing... even when we seem to relatively drift away... brings us back to shore ... he moves you ... makes you want to do all you can .. and keeps you going... how effortlessly he manages to touch your soul !... and makes you feel "Oh how beautiful the relation between Allah and His creations can be!" he makes you want to please Allah out of respect and love... just like a little child who loves and respects his parents would want to please them !! A unique mixture of love, respect and awe...

"Allahoma a3enna 3ala thekrek wa shokrek wa 7osn 3ebadatek"

Interview

I'm back !!!! El7amdulilah... I can say it went fine... I'd done my "homework"... read about the Centre...courses they offer... method of teaching ... all that... the guy seemed impressed el7amdulilah ... but what he was really interested in was where I happened to pick up the British accent !!! I mean having not lived in England at all !!! Thanks to the "British School, Benghazi" ... mini England... that's where I picked it up at the age of 5 :-)

They're offering a full time job (9am-4pm) for a period of 3 months as a start and then you can go part time which sounded pretty good to me... I mean considering the fact that I'm currently unemployed...and that most of the offices (Engineering) that I'm applying to are part time (evening)...the pay is quite good too ... so el7amdulilah for everything... I should be getting a call next Saturday to attend a short training course at the Centre... then I'll be ready to go !!!

I'll go and pray "rak3etein shokr lEllah" ... and be back isA :-)

Good news

Been running around since Ramadan ended dropping my CV in a few places... one of them called today !!!! Yesssssssssssssssss!!!! El7amdulilah... a well known Language Centre (International)... reeeeeeaaaaaally wanted to work there ... my interview is tomorrow inshAllah... can't wait.. it's not like it's final .. but at least I got short listed ...Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!

Still nothing on the "Engineering side" though...Rabena yesahhil ... don't want to give up either career ... want to try and make both work isA...

People around ask me "What is it that you want? Engineering or Teaching English as a Foreign Language?" I answer "Both"(ne2oul eih.. tamma3 ba2a :-D)

"Al7amdulilah alathi bene3mat-tihi tatim olsale7at"

My Element

Found this at Rain's blog...thought I'd give it a try...

Your Element is Earth

Your power color: yellow Your energy: balancing Your season: changing of seasons Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends. You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems. Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones. Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful.

What Element Are You?

Upset

Little bro is in love and I'm upset... he fell in love with a girl and she got engaged to someone else right after that ... wasn't able to control his feelings... she was what he dreamed of... he fell in love with her for a reason... for all what she was he loved... wasn't easy for him to forget her because she's a colleague of his... so there she is in front of him ... engaged to another man....

"Allahoma ath-heb 3anho alhamm wal7ozn"

Thank you Nerro :-)

Thank you Nerro for unintentionally introducing me to the world of blogging.... Your's was the first blog I read... I don't really remember how I came across it...but I do remember reading it every day for quite a while.... Then, through you I somehow stumbled on many of the other bloggers I now consider my cyber friends....

Although I'm not a very active blogger, I now love the "blog world" which six months ago, I did not know existed...

So ... once again.. thank you Nerro :-)

G flashbacks

Summer of '98 : I did my "Summer Training" in one of the respectable Consultancy Companies in Benghazi, Libya.... 7 weeks of going and coming to the Co.... working, learning and chatting with the engineers... I was really young... and so full of energy (still am :-P) ... ambitious, work oriented and verrrrrrrrry social ... made good relations with almost everyone.... especially with one engineer who was partly in charge of my training (5 yrs older than me) .. let's call him G.

Rest of '98 &'99 : Relation with G during the year continued ... used to see him when I dropped by the company to ask about things related to my studies...he enrolled to study Masters at Uni and needed someone who was still an undergraduate to help him get certain things... asked for my help .. glady helped and things went fine for him... we got really friendly and he even got to know my little bro who had just gotten in Uni as well...

Summer of '99 : Did my training again at the same company.... he wasn't in charge of my training but we'd still sometimes chat or he'd show me some work when he had time...

Rest of '99 & 2000 : Kept in touch coz he was studying his Masters .. so we'd see each other at Uni ...

Summer of 2000 : I graduated ... G helped me with getting some stuff ready for the graduation project presentation .. and of course attended ... by that time everyone knew we were friends... he knew baba as well (well ... being an Engineering University Prof.... which engineer didn't know baba !?!!?)

2001 : Didn't really see much of him ... but then I started working at an office .. and he did business with that office a couple of times .. so he'd drop by every now and then .... I guess it was then that we started feeling "differently" for each other... nothing direct or serious ... but I could feel it.. and so could he ... actually he was a very attractive personality (and good looking too...) .... anyway we both pretended there was nothing...

2002 : Was working at a Language Centre that G goes to...now Benghazi is a very small place and you keep running into everyone everywhere... but we were "running" into each other too often...

2003 : Here is where we both couldn't take it anymore ... we were on a very friendly basis by then...and we could see where this was heading .... something which just wouldn't work... for loads of reasons we both knew... so we decided to stay away from each others' ways .... and we did... we'd sometimes see each other by chance but we tried to keep our relation as formal as we could... even heard that he tried to propose to someone (the traditional way) but got turned down :((By that time he'd left the company I did my training at and I'd started working there !!!!) I was almost "cured of him" ....

May 2004 : Started calling me every week at work for 4 weeks in a row ... just asking how I was and if I wanted anything.... didn't know what he was up to... so I went to his office and confronted him...wanted to know what he meant to lead this to... got no specific answer .. so I asked him to please cut off our relation...and we did...completely out of touch since May ... no running into each other.. no emails...no nothing...

Summer of 2004 : I met my ex and we got engaged .... went back to Libya to finish off some work... small country .. so everyone got to know I got engaged.. even people I wasn't in touch with at all ... including G.... called to say congrats... were very formal ....
Haven't heard from him since then ...

Today : Someone "requested" to add me on Yahoo Messenger.... I could guess it was him .. the user name was something that could be him.... I politely declined... like I do when people add me and don't tell me who they are...Then got an email from him .... just saying hello and Happy Eid ... G .... so it was him adding me on yahoo.... thought we said we'd stay away 2 years ago? ... and we have ... why add me and start again? Why send an email ?

I don't know if I'm making any sense ... just that this small email made me get flashbacks ...wanted to let it out...

I love Skype !!

Worn out and sleepy ... all I want to say is I love Skype !!!!

because little bro and I could chat with my parents on Eid for ages without having to worry about the phone bill...

because I could hear my baby niece chuckle and cry, and chat with big bro and his wife and laugh our heads off like we were sitting together...

and last but not least
because it lessens my parents' feelings of loneliness...

Nightie night

Eid Mubarak...

اللهم لا تطوي صفحة رمضان الا ساترا عوراتنا، ماحيا سيئاتنا، قابلا توبتنا، مستجيبا لدعواتنا، يا رب، يا مجيب الدعاء لكل من نحبهم من العابدين